Sittiing in Meditation

I have been sitting in meditation for many, many years and it appears to me that I have not been benefited at all from all this meditation. I did get a feeling from time to time that something good was happening but I promptly lost this feeling, thereby erasing whatever realization or progress I might have gained from all of these activities. The one thing tha I seemed to have developed was a sense of separation from myself away from the mechanism of thinking. It seemed clear to me that there are many sources of thoughts, i.e. when the stomach is hungry, it seems as if the whole being is hungry and the ego declares, "I am hungry" when in reality, it is only one portion of the body that is feeling this hunger.

Conversely, when one is wracked by guilt over something that one has done, it feels as if the whole entity is convulsed with this feeling and it cannot rise above it to rescue itself from this feeling. This is probably the reason why there is a need for analysts and psychiatrists. We cannot help ourselves because we cannot segregate the portions or parts of ourselves that generate the various thoughts and our egos or selves take full responsibility for what these parts or portions do.

Being able to watch and witness the actions that the different parts or portions of myself has allowed me to decide which ones to accept and which ones to reject as being foolish or destructive.